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Pissin in My Hostas

by Emet Lee Firth

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1.
I found you pissin’ in my hostas And I found out I didn’t care That was no place for accusation You had the right to be there I found you pissin’ in my hostas Then I remembered they aren’t mine And you weren’t either, you were never You always pissed a straighter line
2.
I heard they hid the general, and his seekers are all counting to ten Apparently, they’re looking for a busier version of his men Me, I do not know him, and I struggle just to hold up a pen But now somehow I’m in it, and I beg, “please let me know how it ends Please let me know how it ends” Paris had a guilty look, and said he had come back to make amends Ulysses sailed another sea, and asked if I’d a Trojan horse to lend Well, where’s a Western Union when you’ve got an urgent telegram to send? Cuz somehow I am in this, and I beg, “please let me know how it ends Please let me know how it ends” I thought the plot would lead us to some underdog no lawyer would defend And then a jury hanging on a verdict of, “well maybe, it depends” A witness sees hypocrisy, and says, “I cannot make this up again” Then somehow I’m in it, and I beg, “please let me know how it ends Please let me know how it ends” I’m middle-aged and lonely, and I’d trade a million dollars for a friend I miss those days of childhood, when all I had to do was pretend I put my things in boxes, and a ghost of Christmas future says, “amen” But somehow I’m inside one, and I beg, “please let me know how it ends Please let me know how it ends”
3.
A stoic king indebted, for his empire had been saved Didn’t have the right to confer knighthood on his slaves He told me he had everything to lose So many things to hand in before the deadline Or he could be another tragic headline In the Mayhem News The princess was to wed a nameless hero in this verse But she angered Aphrodite with her beauty, and was cursed The ego of a goddess had been bruised Her hero said, “in love, though indeed I’ve fallen I don’t want to be a gossip column In the Mayhem News” She told me she was wanted in Alaska for some crime I told her, “that’s OK, but could I ask ya for a rhyme?” And when they came here, snoopin’ round for clues She said, “I am destructive and fatalistic But I don’t want to be a cold statistic In the Mayhem News” Ezra lost a pound of raven feathers in the rain Ernest had a noun for any weather, in his brain A spook inside a trench coat said, “J’accuse!” Deep down in the funnies, they had framed the sunshine No one wants to be a comic punchline In the Mayhem News They want to dig a quarry in the forest, for the stones They want to put a monument and bury all the bones I heard their zoning permit was refused What will they do with their new souvenir store? They don’t want to be an empty boxscore In the Mayhem News Apparently I’m destined for ungreatness among men And I couldn’t even climb up to the wait list, in the end My only lame excuse: “I got the blues Could I please be buried in the commentary? I don’t want my blank obituary In the Mayhem News”
4.
Another cold October morning We blend into a sky of grey And in each moment, there’s a warning: It’s been a while since we’re OK Chorus: Doo doo doo doo I feel like I should say, “thank you” I just want to say Thank you for calling back on Friday I was singing to the darkness once again And even if you didn’t see it my way You knew all I needed was a friend I never learned to tie my laces Had all my chances slip away I burned down bridges to the places Where I was onetime meant to stay
5.
The aspen danced a quiet line Upon a far-off wavelet of the sky She asked me then if I was blind For all I saw was pavement sailing by Could I not see the branches bend? We trembled like two leaves upon that tree “Do you have faith?” she asked again I said, “I don’t believe what I can’t see” Chorus: But now I see her word upon the prairie Clear as day, a light where shadows lie Out and out beyond my reach Dancing with the far line of the sky The colours swirled, green into blue They bled into the concert of our gaze She asked me there if it were true That all my dreams were drowning in that haze Could I not see the road ahead? It vanished in the glitter of her zeal “Do you have faith?” she asked instead I said, “I don’t believe what I can’t feel”
6.
You screamed at the wind and rain About the coming of the storm You spoke about joy and pain And said, “this city has been warned” You spoke to the truth out loud About the writing on the wall It turns out that angry crowd Will never see those words at all Chorus: I’m trying to somehow show that you got through I just wanted to let you know, I see them too I see them too You rescue a tragedy And you pin it to the stars You ask us all can we see And we answer, “they’re too far” You showed me salvation You showed me doom You showed me all the elephants in the room And I see them too, ya I see them too
7.
He spoke of allegiance, he said, “I am proud” A Citizen Kane in good standing There was a time when she felt that way too Before it all got too demanding Invisible master, o Minister of Love You just about had her believe it But you are the ether we’re all in need of And you tell her she can take it or leave it I’m in as much pain as I’ve ever felt I am feeling alone and unwanted Wiping down counters and sweeping the floor Far too long in a house that is haunted Invisible master, it’s just you and I And at times I can almost believe it You show me a void out there, big like the sky And you tell me I can take it or leave it He’s got the numbers on billions by now And it’s Room 101 in the making The governments know and the companies grow All our fruit hanging low for the taking Invisible master, you say we are free And you just about had us believe it But you are a lifeline that all of us need And you tell us we can take it or leave it
8.
Cedarlane 02:25
We held the island, our captain dead The dawn was silent, the skies were red And you were the spirit of the village Cedarlane, your name brings a troubled heart courage By any measure, our strongest frail The sunken treasure a fairy tale And you were the spirit of the village Cedarlane, your name brings a troubled heart courage In the harbour I cut my foot open and bled On the edge of a broken seashell I stood upon rock, a disciple of wild illusion Under your spell O merciful heart of the village Cedarlane, your name brings a troubled heart courage Cedarlane, your name brings a broken heart courage Cedarlane, your name brings a troubled heart courage
9.
“Don’t sing a song of hardship,” says a master to a slave girl, in a dream “O stroke out sorrow’s rhythm,” say the steersmen to the oarsmen, on the stream The algorithm cannot trace a line along that river, by and by It tries to give directions, but each Choose Your Own Adventure is a lie A chorus sings of hope Can’t cut that dope Can’t cut that rope No matter how they try She cries out to the church, “how could you possibly define what is a sin?” She won’t subscribe to any superstition, nor will any let her in She will pave her destiny with freed up Hail Marys to the end And all the beads upon those strings will lead some broken sinner to “Amen” She rises up to sing Can’t cut that wing Can’t cut that string Though out and out we bend The turtle crossing signals a precaution to all traffic coming through A spectacle that he can see so vividly, from any point of view High up in the heavens, he’s so far from where his sleeping spirit lay Staring down upon a cold abyss, he’s just a superman in clay If only he could fly Can’t cut that high Can’t cut that tie Though try hard as they may
10.
O monarch on the water, you’ve come to say “They’re asking for a status report today” Just tell’em that I found a new place to stay Just tell’em that I’m living out on the bay Just tell’em that I found a new place to stay I’m living out on the bay I’m shrinking and my whiskers are turning grey Someday I may just turn off and fade away Just tell’em that I found a new place to stay Just tell’em that I’m living out on the bay Just tell’em that I found a new place to stay I’m living out on the bay I was saved Rescued by a wave From my grave I was torn out upon a wave I was saved By a wave I was rescued by the rolling sea Answer to my plea Like an angel coming down to me Come to set me free I am free By the sea Just tell’em that I found a new place to stay I’m living out on the bay

credits

released May 9, 2022

Vocals, guitar, keyboards, and conga by Emet Lee Firth
Special thanks to Adam Ostrosser, for teaching me what I know
All songs written by Clark

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Emet Lee Firth

Canadian singer songwriter

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